I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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