i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
