You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
