who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
