We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
