I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
