Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize