I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize