I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
