as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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