Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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