i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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