Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
