i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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