Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
