Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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