They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
