Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
