Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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