Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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