Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
