It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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