I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I just sharted jello shots
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