Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
