Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
