..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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