do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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