I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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