Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
