I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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