first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
