I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
