Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The Olympian is in my bed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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