her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
