ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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