i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
