my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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