Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize