96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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