Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
