I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
