On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
