make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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