i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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