what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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