Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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