i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
