your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
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I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize