I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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