No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
