Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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