remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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