Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
