i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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