I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
