Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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