i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
