did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
even my farts smell like vagina
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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