I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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