it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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